Three Month Thrills

Raeyn Drop turned three months old yesterday! How the heck did that happen?

We celebrated by having our first date night out! My good friend from Canada came to visit us this week, and last night after we put the baby to bed she stayed to watch her while T and I went out to a nice dinner. I am so glad that our first "babysitter" could be someone we know and trust, and someone who is so great with Raeyn Drop!

She is still usually waking up 4-6 times a night, but we had one miraculous night last week when she slept from 6:30pm-4:30AM and then went back down easily at 4:45AM until 6:45AM! I am still in shock that we got TEN straight hours, and I have a sneaking suspicion that it won't happen again for a loooooong time. Someone told me this can start to happen when babies double their birth weight (which she did this week), but I'm not super optimistic since the next night she was up almost every hour.

My favorite thing is about this period in her life is that Raeyn Drop smiles and giggles all the time (when she's not tired), especially when daddy plays with her toes or when I sing silly songs and laugh along with her. Also when I first turn the light on in the morning and unwrap her swaddle she shoots her hands up in the air and gives me a giant smile!

She usually takes a nap in her bouncer about an hour and twenty minutes after she wakes up in the morning. Then the rest of the day she naps in her swing or car seat. I always start to try getting her to sleep about an hour after she wakes up, in hopes that I'll be successful before she's been awake for 90 minutes; that seems to be her super cranky tipping point! Getting her to nap generally involves tucking her in with a fuzzy blanket, giving her a WubbaNub pacifier, and swinging or bouncing until her eyes start to close. Naps become more difficult and shorter as the day goes on.

Nighttime sleep is easier to come by. Around 6pm I get her undressed, put some lotion on her chest and forehead (she loves this), put on a diaper, long sleeved onesie, socks, and Halo swaddle sleep sack. Then I turn the lights off, nurse her, and put her down in her crib awake. Sometimes I give her a WubbaNub, but usually she just falls asleep on her own! Unfortunately she usually wakes up about 40-60 minutes later needing the WubbaNub, but at least it gives me some time to cook and eat dinner with T.

The Aftermath

Lucie's List had forewarned me about what was to come after delivery. However, the email also indicated that an epidural would make me blissfully unaware of it all. Um, nope. Delivering the placenta, the fundal massage, and the stitches all hurt like hell (especially the stitches... thank you teaching hospital), but it was the beautiful baby on my chest -- not the epidural -- that made it all easily bearable.

At some point (the order of things is a total blur), they took the baby to the warmer to do various
doctor-y things to her, including getting her cleaned up. At some point they brought her back and helped get her latched on to feed. A nurse arranged a bunch of pillows and her to make it easy, and it seemed to go well from what I could tell. I was still in a state of utterly disorienting bliss.

I remember them bringing me food, which included oatmeal. I love oatmeal. Then they called for a transfer and I regretfully had to hand over the baby so we could be moved to our new room on the mother/baby floor. They didn't want me walking at this point so I had to go in a wheelchair, although when I think back to that moment it reminds me of this scene from Princess Bride:

(I must be losing my touch, as I couldn't find it in gif form.)

In the new room, the initial euphoria started to wear off and the pain kicked in. I was very pleased to find that the pain from the actual delivery was not nearly as bad as I anticipated (thank you norco), but breastfeeding was excruciating. My nipples were cracked and every time I nursed her I had terrible contractions. The hospital's lactation consultant told me that Raeyn Drop was eating well and latching beautifully, so my breasts should not hurt. Well, they did -- a lot. The line that breastfeeding doesn't hurt if nothing is wrong is a load of B.S. I just kept trying to remind myself how lucky I was that she did have a good latch, as I can't imagine the unbearable pain people feel when things aren't going well.

Other than the breastfeeding issues, I was feeling pretty well. I guess the nurses could see that I was recovering nicely and they told me I should be able to go home the next day. Wait.. WHAT?? I was quite certain my insurance allowed for at least a 48 hour hospital stay after delivery, and I was definitely not ready to leave the nice safe room with the magic button that brought medical professionals running to help me and answer all my questions.

On Sunday morning, there was more talk of going home. T was in favor of this plan because Raeyn Drop had been crying all night and in the tiny hospital room neither of us had gotten any sleep. But he didn't have an electronic bed that raises and lowers with a remote control. And he didn't have to use a squirt bottle and pain killers to make peeing bearable. I wanted T to be comfortable, but I also wanted to continue being a patient for another night. Anyway, I was unconvinced that there was more sleep to be had at home.

Then the pediatrician came and informed us that Raeyn Drop was looking too yellow and we would not be going home after all. They wanted to keep us until the morning and then do a bilirubin test. We requested that it happen as early in the morning as possible so that we could leave in time to pick up my mom from the airport at 1PM. She said that shouldn't be a problem, and we settled in for another night of crying.

Monday morning the pediatrician returned while T was sleeping. She told me that Raeyn Drop's initial test was worse than she thought and we should not expect to be discharged in time to pick up my mom. In fact, it was very possible that Raeyn Drop would have to stay another night as a patient but I would not. Wait... WHAT? She would be transferred to a different floor where T and I would both be relegated to the pull out chair in the corner. Cue panic, as we waited a couple more hours for the results of the blood test to find out more.

Shortly before 11AM, the results came back and we were told they were actually not that bad and we could go home. I was just supposed to spend the next couple days nursing her naked in a sunny window to help with her color.

We were packed up and ready to go in a matter of minutes, half thinking that if we dawdled they might change their minds. In a flurry, I signed all the discharge papers and enlisted a sweet nurse's help getting teeny tiny Raeyn Drop into the car seat. She was swimming in her 0-3 onesie (T didn't have the heart to pull the newborn one over her head for fear of smooshing), but you could hardly see it anyway since the car seat straps basically covered her entire body.

A quick (but exceedingly careful) ride later, and our new family was home! Now what exactly did we get ourselves into?

Raeyn had a baby!

Okay so I guess this is kind of old news now, but it's been hard to find time for tasks that require two hands.

I had a baby!

Three and a half weeks later, I am still in a state of disbelief over this fact. Everything happened so quickly and unexpectedly (yes, after almost 9 months of pregnancy I still wasn't expecting an actual baby), that I hardly had time to think. But I figure I should write it all down before too much more time passes and I start to forget.

Friday, September 13th was my last scheduled day of work (after the HR fiasco that sent me back to work for 4 weeks of this school year despite my approved plans to take the whole year off). I said goodbye to the kids, the teachers, and to my wonderful principal. On the way out the door, my principal asked if I was ready. "Nooooo!" I responded vigorously. I had a hospital bag to pack, a car seat to install, a nursery to organize and finish decorating, a baby monitor to set up, essential baby items like diapers to purchase, etc. etc. etc. Definitely not ready, but thank goodness I was going to have two weeks before my due date to finish preparing. I was feeling good and quite confident that this baby wasn't going anywhere any time soon.

So I went home, ate some dinner, and headed upstairs to watch some TV in bed just after 9 o'clock. About 10 minutes into Burn Notice, I ran for the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" Inquired my dear, sweet husband.
"Um, I think I peed myself," I replied. "I guess I didn't escape the dreaded loss of bladder control that goes along with pregnancy after all."

It was an awful lot of pee, though. In fact, I was quite proud of myself for not getting any on the bed, given how much I had peed. But then I peed again. And again. And every time I stood up or moved around.

"So... I'm not sure this is pee." I called from the bathroom.

A quick phone call to the on-call doctor later, and T and I were frantically trying to pack a hospital bag and head out the door. I kept telling him that surely this was a mistake -- it couldn't possibly be my water breaking at only 37 weeks and 4 days. I wasn't even in labor! Due to my firmly held convictions that I would be laughed out of OB Triage and sent home, I didn't think too much about what I was packing. Things like a laptop power cord and clean clothes for leaving the hospital didn't seem super important when I was operating on the assumption that I'd only be there a few hours. Oops.

On the way to the hospital, I attempted to time my non-painful, totally ordinary contractions (the same kind I'd been having since I was 24 weeks pregnant). Three minutes apart, then nine minutes, then 5 minutes... no particular pattern, which is what they say to look for to distinguish Braxton Hicks practice contractions from the real thing.

We arrived at around 10:30 PM. They had me put on a hospital gown, and it quickly became apparent that I wasn't going home. While I hung out in Triage, T ran out to the car to install the car seat by himself. I think he did a stellar job operating under pressure! He also picked up some Ben & Jerry's Americone Dream ice cream, which was smart thinking for a man whose wife is about to go into labor.

It was 12:30 before a doctor came to check on me. I was just 1 cm dilated and still not having painful contractions. They told me that as soon as a labor and delivery room opened up, I would be getting pitocin to kick-start real contractions. I finally got a room around 2 AM, and had been having painful contractions for an hour at that point. Rather than do another cervical check to see if I'd progressed on my own, the nurses insisted that I start pitocin right away. I was really hoping to avoid it, but since I had already ruptured they wanted to move things along as quickly as possible to avoid infection. We asked if it was our decision and were basically told no.

Oww. I lasted about 20 minutes with the pitocin before the nurse convinced me to get an epidural. I knew I was going to get one eventually, but I was trying to hold out for a while. She basically pointed out that it was silly to wait, given that I couldn't get out of bed anyway now that I was hooked up to the pitocin and about to get a catheter.

The epidural was awful. I was expecting it to hurt, or to be freaked out by the needle, but neither of those were my issues. When they put it in and gave me the test dose, my blood pressure dropped and I became extremely nauseous. I threw up a couple times and pretty much felt like I wanted to die. I was far preferring the painful pitocin-induced contractions to this horrible feeling. They gave me Zofran and did something with the epidural to help, and it was soon feeling bearable again. Based on my reaction to just the test dose, the anesthesiologist decided to give me just half of what she usually gives. Unfortunately this didn't do much and she had to come back to increase it a short while later.

The epidural started working, but primarily on my left side. My left leg was completely dead and I couldn't lift it at all. My right side was mildly tingly, but I could still feel everything. The nurse told me to lay on my right and let gravity do the work of evening out the medication

At 5:30 AM a doctor came to do a cervical check and found that I was 5 cm dilated. When she left, I was able to somewhat drift off despite still feeling the contractions on the right. At 6, the nurse came rushing in because the baby's heart rate had dropped (when I looked at the computer screen after I realized what was happening, it said 100). She had me roll over to my left side and gave me an oxygen mask. I asked about the gravity theory of the epidural, but it was clear that the heart rate issue trumped my desire for the epidural to even out. Fortunately the shift worked and the baby was fine. T miraculously slept through this portion of the evening, and was very confused to wake up and find me with an oxygen mask.

Somewhere around 8 AM, Dr. P (the on-call doctor I'd spoken with the previous night) arrived and said it was time to start pushing. T was charged with the task of holding back one of my legs and counting to ten during each big contraction. He was so focused on being supportive, that he kept stopping mid-count to tell me what a good job I was doing. The nurse holding my other leg took over the counting, probably fearing for T's life should his counts of 10 continue to take more than 10 seconds!


At some point when it felt as though I'd been pushing forever and making no progress, Dr. P asked if Dr. B and I had discussed episiotomies. I said no, but the reason we hadn't discussed them was because Dr. B said she pretty much never does them! Freaked out, I continued pushing and apparently made some progress after all.

At 9:10 AM, Raeyn Drop finally made it all the way out and they put her on my chest. For a moment, nothing hurt and everything was utterly perfect. I have never felt that kind of complete happiness before.

I suppose after that absurdly long post, I'll leave it there and write about our postpartum experience another time.

34 Weeks

Last week my doctor sent me for an ultrasound because she was mildly concerned that my belly was measuring small. Dr. B seems to think an ultrasound is the answer to everything, and I'm perfectly happy with that as it means I've gotten to see my little one six times so far this pregnancy! So as of Friday, Raeyn Drop was 4.9 lbs and in the 45% percentile. Everything looked great!

Due to a mess up with human resources, I unexpectedly had to go back to work this week. I thought I was taking the whole year off, but apparently I'm required to start the school year and work until September 16th. As a result, I will not have much time to finish getting everything ready for the baby. Fortunately, I was able to get the nursery mostly finished last week. The lesser priorities may have to wait until my leave officially begins. Hopefully the baby doesn't come too early so I still have time to finish everything!

Here's my outstanding to do list (or at least what I can think of right now):

• Organize nursery closet
• Hem curtains
• Nursery artwork
• Make a mobile
• Pack hospital bag
• Install car seat
• Figure out baby monitor
• Buy outstanding registry items
• Buy diapers

Drawer Organization

I'm 33 weeks along now and things are starting to get real! I've had a few panicky moments when I started to think about how I'll be full-term in less than a month and there's still so much to do.

I bought some Ikea Scubb drawer organizers ages ago, but I've been putting off the actual organizing part. A post from Svenny today inspired me to get started and I'm so glad I did. I washed all the clothes, towels, blankets, etc. with All Free & Clear and got to work. It took about 5 hours, mostly because I kept scrutinizing all the clothes and sleep sacks trying to figure out sizes of things. It would be super helpful if different companies could agree on how big each size should be, but apparently they think new moms need an added challenge.

In my pinterest/google search for tips on organizing a nursery dresser, I noticed that there aren't many good examples out there that really describe what to put inside. I found several great blogs with photos of open drawers to use as inspiration, but I thought I would label everything in mine in hopes that it can help others in their organizing journey. I suspect that I will make changes as I go, but for now this system made sense for me.

The canisters on top of the dresser will hold things like nail clippers, nasal aspirator, thermometer, and creams. All other clothes will be hung in the closet, which still needs a lot of work. But for now, I'm happy to get a big job crossed off my list!

Diabetes Debacle

Yesterday I had a meltdown and cried at the lab when I arrived for my 3-hour glucose test. I got my way because of it and I don't feel bad in the least.


I flew back from Miami in the morning and called the lab when I landed. I asked if I could come in for the test at 11:30 and they said that's fine. Fast forward to 11:30 -- it had been 12 hours since I'd eaten and I was operating on 4 hours of sleep. I had just trekked across the city on a train, a bus, and another train to get there. I arrived at the lab, waited 30 minutes, and was then told they don't do 3-hour tests that late in the day so I would have to come back tomorrow. Apparently they don't want pregnant women fasting for that long during waking hours. OH HELLS NO.



Cue hyperventilating and tears. I thew a bunch of logic at her too, like the fact that I had ALREADY fasted so it would be worse to make a pregnant woman fast for that long two days in a row. But I'm pretty sure it was the tears that got her to call her supervisor. A few minutes later, I had a refreshing sugar-loaded drink in my hand and I gulped it down before they could change their minds.

Lab protocol: 0
Cranky pregnant lady: 1

The waiting wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. I didn't feel nauseous at all, and the tired/shaky feeling was just as likely due to my lack of sleep as to the sugar. I believe that years of practice consuming entire pies by myself in one sitting prepared me for this experience. Coming down from it later that evening was a trip, though. I had to take a nap and when I woke up it felt like I had a killer hangover.

The nurse from my OB's office called me today to give me my results. This time I had the presence of mind to ask for my actual numbers.
 
Fasting: 72 (95 is passing)
Hour 1: 160 (180 is passing)
Hour 2: 161 (155 is passing... how did I go up??)
Hour 3: 118 (140 is passing)

Apparently three out of four ain't bad, and they declared I officially do not have gestational diabetes! Huzzah! I'm still waiting for my celebratory pie.


(For anyone interested in practical information about gestational diabetes, I found this blog post to be very helpful: http://foyupdate.blogspot.com/2012/05/gestational-diabetes-my-story-and.html) 

Mmm, mmm glucose!

Last week I finally finished school and I went in for my 1-hour glucose test before packing up my classroom. The sugary orange drink wasn't nearly as bad as I'd feared, and the sugar rush actually made me feel great! (Until the big sugar drop later that afternoon, but chocolate fixed that.)

The nurse from Dr. B's office called me back on Monday and explained that I had failed the test. She didn't say what my number was, and I didn't know enough to ask at the time. Personally I think there must have been a mistake, as I am generally the KING of anything related to sugar. Baking with sugar? No problem. Eating sugary things? I have no equal. Regulating blood sugar? Er, apparently I need to work on that.

After my initial panic that this may cause problems for my vacation to Miami, the nurse assured me I could eat as usual during my trip and do the follow-up 3-hour glucose test the day I get back (July 9th). Little does she know what "eat as usual" means...

I didn't anticipate that the personal-trainer friend we're staying with is glucose-free and stocks her fridge with nothing but fruit and quinoa. Please someone come bring me a giant piece of blueberry pie with ice cream while I'm still allowed to eat it!!!

So here I am in Miami, 27 weeks pregnant, doing aqua-fitness and eating healthy. Fingers crossed that next week I find out the glucose results were a fluke so I can go back to my sedentary pig-like ways.

Hiccups and cramps, oh my!

I had my 24 week ultrasound appointment yesterday to check if the marginal previa had resolved itself. It had, and everything looked great! Heartbeat was 157 and baby was weighing 1lb 5 oz, both of which are right on track.

During the ultrasound, we saw the baby hiccup on the screen. At the exact same time I felt it and realized that's what I've been feeling the whole time! Apparently our baby is the one person on the planet who gets the hiccups more than I do. :P

Following the ultrasound, I had a regular OB appointment. As the doctor was about to turn on the doppler, she looked at my belly and noticed that I was having a contraction! Apparently the cramps I've been feeling when I walk a lot or bend down have been contractions too. Oops! She just wants me to pay attention to them and call if I start having more than 10 a day or if there's any sort of persistent pattern to them. It hasn't been happening that frequently, so we are not concerned right now.

I leave you with a picture of the baby yawning. Apparently we were boring her.

20 weeks and then some

Earlier this week I hit 20 weeks and we finally got to find out if we're having a boy or a girl! T was able to take time off work to come to my back-to-back appointments, which was wonderful.

After waiting 55 minutes (45 minutes after my appointment start time), we were sent in and got to see little raeyn drop on the monitor. The ultrasound techs were super nice, but the whole time they were sitting there talking about the brain and the kidneys I was laying there wishing they would move a little lower! After about half an hour of poking and prodding baby to wake up, they finally told me it's a girl! Another 20 minutes later and we were done. They printed out a few photos for us, but T still has them somewhere. One of the photos highlights our baby girl's labia, and T has decided to hang onto it for embarrassment purposes when she starts to date.

Everything throughout the scan looked great. Heartbeat was 157. They finally gave me the results from my sequential screening and said it all was normal. Just a 1 in 10,000 chance of the major concerns. The only issue was that the placenta was very low and partially covering my cervix. Since it's fairly likely this will resolve itself, I'm just thinking of it as a reason to see my little girl again in four weeks. On the off-chance it doesn't move I would need a c-section, but I'll worry about that waaaay down the road if needed.

Here's my obligatory 3-week bump pic (since every three weeks is about all I can handle) in front of our awesome new house:

 

And because I love this man madly and he makes me smile every day:

We sent these photos to our parents. T's dad remarked that he looks more pregnant but I will be the better mom. I can't disagree. :P

Second Trimester

Well, I'm officially in the second trimester now. Everyone keeps telling me how much better I must feel. Must I? Really?

After I ate a bowl of cereal this morning, T went to Starbucks and picked up a tall white hot chocolate and a lemon pound cake for me. Yum! I drank half the hot chocolate and promptly informed him that he should please move aside so I could go throw up in the bathroom. Note to self: throwing up hot beverages = not recommended.

Is it bad that when I returned to the living room I really wanted to drink the rest of it? T told me I shouldn't, but I think the lemon pound cake is fair game.

A long time ago, in a galaxy...

So T and I have a longstanding joke with each other where I try to trick him into saying it's a girl and he tries to trick me into saying it's a boy. But the reality is I really wanted our first to be a girl.

Over the last week or so, I've started assuming this baby is going to be a boy. Partly because of the whole Ramzi's Method thing, and partly because of Murphy's Law and the fact that it's nearly impossible for me to find a boy's name I like. So I've been preparing in my head as though this baby is a boy, and I started thinking seriously about names and nursery decor.

Now I really want a boy.

I have a first name picked out. (When I casually mentioned it to T, he said he didn't hate it... That's all the input I need, right? :P ) And the nursery is going to be... STAR WARS!

I asked T how he would feel about a Star Wars-themed nursery and he was totally on board. Now I just need to make sure it turns out more subtle/simple rather than filling the room with Star Wars merchandise.

If we close on the house we want, this will be the room I have to work with:

I'm in love with this print, so I'll probably start with it and use its colors throughout the room:

It's a work in progress, but here is the beginning of my idea. The other side of the room would have our existing dresser with a changing pad on top, another Star wars-themed piece of art, and two light-saber night lights on the wall (T's favorite part).

Sequential Screening

I had my 13-week sequential screening appointment today. Originally I wasn't going to do it because my insurance company told me it wouldn't be covered and I would have to pay $1,061. Then last week my doctor somehow magically got them to approve it. Apparently their definition of "medically necessary" is different from mine!

T couldn't come because he had back-to-back meetings all afternoon. The ultrasound tech was really sweet and she spent a good twenty minutes waiting for Raeyn Drop to turn the right way so she could see what she needed to. As a result, I got to watch the baby wiggling around for a while. I'm fairly certain Raeyn Drop was mocking us.

The baby never did cooperate (clearly he takes after his father), but she was able to get one shot of the nuchal translucency. Apparently it measured 1.5mm, and less than 3mm is good. I'll have to wait a week for the results from the blood tests. The heart beat was a solid 167 and the tech said that growth was on track.

Now I have to wait another 7 weeks before I get to see the baby again!

All Is Well

So... J reminded me that I haven't updated since my ultrasound. I keep forgetting that some people actually read this thing. Sorry!

Fortunately everything is fine. Baby looked healthy and had made the right amount of growth. They couldn't find the source of the bleed but said I have nothing to worry about. My progesterone came back high, so I'm good there too. Phew!

Here is the new pic of our little raeyn drop. Apparently there is a discernible head now, though it still just looks like a blurry blob to me.

Since I had to miss a team meeting for this, I ended up telling my boss on Thursday morning. It wasn't the ideal time or place since we only had two minutes to talk, but I wanted her to know I had a good reason for skipping out early. I'm now kind of in a weird place where I don't really care about keeping it a secret anymore but don't know if it's appropriate to let it be public knowledge. I've told five people at work, which I feel like might be too many to ensure it stays contained. Should I let it go and be honest when people bring it up? Or wait until I get the chance to really talk with my principal about what she wants me to do (which might not be for a couple months)?

Spotting

Yesterday I started spotting. Dr. B told me to call if there was any bleeding, so I've spent the last 24 hours playing phone tag with the nurse from her office. I honestly was expecting them to say I need to chill out and wait for my next appointment three weeks from now. I know it's not uncommon to have spotting in the first trimester, and I figured I was overreacting.

Through a series of voice mail messages today, the nurse told me Dr. B wants me in right away for another ultrasound and progesterone testing. On one hand I'm really happy that she is taking it seriously and being proactive; on the other hand, having the doctor validate my concerns with immediate action has just tripled my anxiety about it.

7 1/2 Weeks

Aaaand... the vomiting has begun. Fingers crossed I make it through the week and can actually participate in the fashion show fundraiser next Saturday.

Ultrasound

T and I went to see Dr. B today for the first time. She and her staff were absolutely wonderful, and I'm quite happy with my choice. She did do an ultrasound, which was such a relief!

At first, the screen was tilted away from me so T could see it and I couldn't. It was so cool to watch the awe and excitement on his face as he saw our baby for the first time. Then he turned to the doctor and asked, "Why are there three little kidney shaped things?" Har, har, har. The doctor and I both chuckled and she assured me there was only one.

Dr. B said that everything seemed great and the heartbeat was very strong! I was measuring at 6 weeks and 5 days so I guess that moves my due date back a couple days, although she didn't specifically say. I will be seeing her every four weeks until July and then every two weeks after that. I still can't believe this is really happening!

I had told T about Ramzi's Method of fetal gender identification, so he asked the doctor what side the placenta was on. According to Ramzi I'm having a boy -- I'm curious to see if it ends up being true for me!

Week 7

So far I've been feeling a ton of fatigue, a little nausea, and some heartburn. My cough is still driving me crazy, and it kept me (and my poor husband) up a few nights last week. My boobs have definitely gotten bigger, and I've learned that some of my tighter dresses are no longer work appropriate because of it!

The good news is that I get to see Dr. B on Tuesday! I have never met this doctor before, but Curly's coworker recommended her so I'm sure everything will be great. When the office called to confirm the appointment, I asked what they would be doing; unfortunately the receptionist said that she doesn't know and I will just have to wait until Dr. B sees me to find out. It seemed strange that they couldn't even tell me if I will be having an ultrasound, but I will drag T along just in case.

Spreading the News

All week long we've been waiting with baited breath to tell our parents. I didn't want to call them last weekend just in case the baby didn't stick, but this morning I temped and took another test and it was positive as positive can be. If anything happens at this point, we would want them to know anyway.

I ordered a pair of baby shoes (why do babies even have shoes?) and they arrived today, so I came home from work early to take this photo to share with our family:

Our plan was to call them, and once we got them on the line we would send the photo and ask them to check their email.

We talked to T's mom first, then left a voice mail for my parents and called my sister. She's always had a talent for ruining surprises, so as soon as I said to check her email she asked, "Is it going to tell me you're pregnant?" Despite the epic anticlimax, she was really happy for us.

My mom face-timed us shortly after, and her reaction was adorable. She was so happy and excited for us. My dad pretended he'd already seen the photo on my father-in-law's Facebook page, just to mess with us.

We are both so happy that it's no longer a complete secret. While we're still not planning to tell my boss until March, it's nice to know we don't have to hide our insane excitement from our family anymore!

Whaaaa? Raeyn's pregnant?!

Cue overwhelming shock and awe, as I'm sure this comes as such a surprise!

I'M PREGNANT!

As many of you know, I got pneumonia last October and haven't been quite right since. Over the last week or so my cough has gotten bad again, so I tested at an embarrasing 8 DPO just so I could feel comfortable taking medicine. BFN. Tested again at 9 DPO, 'cause, well, I was on a roll and I have tests to waste. BFN.

That night, I barely slept because of my coughing. When I did sleep, I had an intense dream that I woke up and got a very faint line. Then I woke up and maybe sorta got a very faint line. I take this as hard proof that I have developed magic powers.

Here are the tests I took later that night and the next morning:

10 DPO, 6 PM

11 DPO, 9 AM

What We Did

This was our 10th month/cycle trying, but 7th with decent timing. I temped, used OPKs, and drank green tea when I remembered. This was the first cycle that I temped vaginally, so I attributed my pretty chart to that.

On O-2, O-1, and O+1 we used preseed and did a little of this:

Then DH argued that we'd only had sex three times and that couldn't possibly be good enough. I rolled my eyes and complained a bunch.

Symptoms

I have a million symptoms, but I'm not convinced any of them are pregnancy-related. The only relevant difference was my lack of spotting. Usually I have a 10-day LP with spotting for 1-3 days before my period. I didn't think too much of it, since I have had cycles in the past when I didn't spot. Curly, however, thought this was a big deal -- and dammit, the bish was right!

How I Told DH

DH was away on a business trip all week, and he was expected to get home last night around midnight. If I'd tested positive earlier in the week I probably would have just told him on the phone; but since I got my BFP the day he was coming home, I waited.

I was going to make a little sign that said "big brother" and tie it around hoverpup's neck before I went to bed, knowing he would run and jump up on DH as soon as he came in the door. However, I was way too excited to go to sleep before he got home, so I just stayed up and told him as soon as he came in the door. Hugging ensued.

Thanks

I cannot possibly express in words how much the Bump community has meant to me. You guys are amazing and I am so glad to have gotten to know many of you! I will leave you with this card, which I feel appropriately sums it up:

Seeing Things

Soooooo...

Took another pee test today. When my five-minute alarm went off, I glanced at the test. I was about to throw it out, when I was suddenly inspired  to stare and scrutinize and squint 'till my eyes hurt. It was probably the awful, fitful night's sleep I got and the ridiculous dreams about getting a BFP.

Anyway, I stared and scrutinized and squinted and convinced myself there was a teeny tiny shadow where I wanted a second line to be. I've never seen a shadow before. Though I've also never stared at a pee stick so intently before.

I dipped another stick and took a photo at the five-minute mark so I could stare and scrutinize indefinitely. This was ridiculous, because now I swear I can see something in the picture way better than I could when I was looking at the actual stick!

Have I gone batshit crazy? Or could this actually be a line? I'm leaning towards batshit crazy, personally.

Sick of it

Looking back at my charts, I started coughing twelve weeks ago. After finishing the final round of antibiotics/steroids on December 5th, the coughing was very mild so I figured it would eventually go away.

No such luck. Last night I was hacking up my lungs again and couldn't fall alseep. WHAT. THE. FUCK? I seriously took a pregnancy test at 8 DPO this morning just so I wouldn't be nervous about stuffing my system full of cough medicine. I feel ridiculous even putting an 8 DPO BFN on my chart. Grumblegrumblegrumble.

A Glimmer

Dammit. I thought I was done with this 2WW anticipation crap. I keep telling myself and everyone else that I'm not really expecting to just get pregnant on my own. I keep telling myself at this point it's just a countdown to my year mark because of my LP.

But when I entered my 7 DPO temp this morning, I felt a glimmer of hope. What if I could be pregnant? Fortunately I'll only have to wait three days to have my hopes shattered.

Success!

T passed his second certification for work yesterday! Woot woot! I am so proud of him! This is extremely exciting, as it was the last day before his boss had to submit T's info for his big upcoming review. The review that will determine how much of a bonus he will get this February. The bonus that will determine what kind of a house we buy this spring.

We've been talking about buying a new house for a year now, but we've been waiting for T to get settled in his job (he's been there just under a year) and pass his first few certifications.

Once we know what the bonus will be, we will go ahead and get preapproved for a loan and start looking for real. These are currently my favorites. The middle one is a real possibility, but it's also the most expensive and a short sale, so we'll see!

Mom's Guide to Getting Pregnant

This morning, while lying in bed, T told me that his mother is very anxious for us to have a kid. Apparently this is something they talked about at length when we were visiting over the holidays. My mother-in-law is truly wonderful, but I am really glad that she did not have this conversation with me. Apparently it went something like this:

T (downplaying how long we've been trying): Well, we've had some bad luck with timing.
MIL: What do you mean? When did she stop taking birth control?
T: Last spring.
MIL: That's a long time!
T: But I've been traveling a lot.
MIL: Oh! :pouty face: Well you're not going to be traveling all the time, are you?
T: No, it's calmed down a lot.
MIL: Are you having sex every day?
T: No, she's taking her temperature and using ovulation tests to figure out when she ovulates.
MIL: You should try having sex every day. You wouldn't mind that!
T: Thanks, mom.

Apparently he has a very different relationship with his mom than I have with mine! And now T thinks we should try having sex every day.

I'm putting what up the what now?

I have an aversion to sticking things in my vagina. That may sounds somewhat counterproductive to TTC, but it's true.

I used to have a fair bit of pain every time I had sex, and my doctor did absolutely nothing to determine the cause of the problem. I even went so far as to bring in a photo of the blood that would appear after banging boots, but she just told me it was all in my head.

After about two years of this (and very little sex), it randomly started to get better. Then when T and I decided to start TTC last April, I went off birth control pills and POOF! Magically I was all better.

Even though it hasn't bothered me in the last nine months, I'm still nervous sometimes that it will hurt. It's like my brain has been conditioned to think that putting anything up there is a bad idea. So a few months ago when someone suggested I temp vaginally, I was all like,

Combined with OPKs, I've always been able to see a temp shift; but I do occasionally wake up with my mouth slightly open, and it can drive me crazy not knowing if my temps are reliable. After last cycle's frustrating randomness and this cycle's 11 days of laziness, I figured it might be a good time to give it a try.

So yesterday morning at 5 AM, I stuck a thermometer up my vagina. Now I feel silly that it's not even remotely a big deal. And bonus -- the quieter beeping this morning allowed my dog to sleep through it!